people, thoughts

1 year with them

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

Actually, I still can’t believe I have the chance to write about my little yet have the biggest effect on my life by just one year.

I have been participating in volunteer (and now, I am currently in their core team now) at Inspiration Factory Foundation. It Is the foundation that helps the unprivileged children to have a dream. I met this foundation a year ago through IndoRelawan – a volunteer portal website in Indonesia. Actually, I did some volunteer outside this foundation and also, I did it with the help from IndoRelawan. Then I saw the website and it got me thinking,

Whoa, A foundation that runs in education sector?

Well, I knew that there are lots of volunteer stuffs and help the children for the sake of education. And sometimes, they tend to focus about helping the children to excel in some subject in school, which is really good to me, because not every parent could afford tutor or letting their children in some academy class outside the school. But not this one. This foundation targets on behavior of the children (which I won’t talk a lot about this one, because you need to learn it by yourselves by joining the foundation, lol). And for me, it was so different and unique at the same time.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 preset

I want to volunteer and I want to meet kids, but why should I afford some money before it?

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

My first day in Pulo Gebang

Believe me, even my friends asked this too after I talked about it. Well, of course the money is for the children. And after thinking for a while, the experiences I got is so much valuable than the money I spent at the first time.

There were so many things that I would like to say, but This Foundation and The Kids helped me way too much in a way. I felt that I grew better. Physically. And also, mentally. Last year, I felt like I still found it hard to talk to stranger (especially kids) but hey, look where I am now. and thanks to every volunteer I met through this foundation, without you all, I might be lost as I didn’t learn from you guys throughout our conversation in our not so routine lunch together. And with you all, I am well aware that the world I have been living is just like a water in a pond for that I learned a lot that world is bigger than our experiences.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 preset

And the kids. Oh, I might be in tears to tell you guys about them.

Believe me, after months to meet the kids, I learned a lot about them. and I thought, “how can I learned about world more from them?” but somehow, the kids helped me to see the world beyond my eyes. For me I thought I am the one who taught them because the training that the foundation provided told me about the tips and trick to teach the children. Well, they are right because I feel like as a teacher, we need our tips and trick before teaching them. But oh well, the kids taught me more than I taught them.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

The way they scream,

The way they fight each other,

The way they cried after fight with each other,

The way they happy,

The way they see the world,

The way they choose to say the words, and

The way they approaching me, hug me, call my name in their high note,

The way they see me like I am their sister,

Moved me.

They taught me to be grateful in everything we had in our lives.

There was one time I remembered I fight with my sister then this kids suddenly mumbling like,

Why is everyone not grateful to have a younger siblings?

Could you believe that sentences is coming from a 8 year old child? I mean like, how do you words like that? How do you think like that? And I felt that her words were that strong because I felt like I didn’t feel that grateful because there is someone who wants to have a sibling but they didn’t have any chance (yet).

And this one got me goosebumps, really one.

There was a time when we learned about “how to not give up easily” in a video, or something I don’t exactly remember, then I asked the kids about what can we learned from the video, and we did some discussions about it then this sentences was coming up from one of them,

Running away doesn’t solve the problem.

I mean, I know at that time I was so in rush with everything, uni stuffs, other stuffs, volunteering (yes, volunteering is good but if you did it wrong, it would ugly), and so on. The way she answered the discussion somehow I felt like she somehow directly asking me that if I am okay or God tell me to not run away but rest a bit through this kid? Believe me, I flustered after she answered me like that. Then I proceed the discussion as they didn’t know I was crushed at that moment.

And well, at that time I felt like she is way beyond me to see the world.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

You know, kids sometimes over-active. Way more hyperactive especially when they’re with their best friends. And I remembered one time I was taught to this class, it was so over active as if they’re stole my energy so that they could active all the time. then when we discuss something together, one kid suddenly interrupted me by asking this,

Sis, you must be tired, right?

At that time, I was way more crushed than I ever before. Believe me, kids could make you fall in love and you get crushed at the same time with their innocence words and the looked they gave to you when they said those stuffs.

At first, I don’t think I could fit into their core team because I don’t think I could do that but they told me to try it, it wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? Then they choose me to be a mc.

Can? You? even? Think? Me? As a mc? Lol, no.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

May kindness and successful will always accompanying us to wherever we may go.

But here we are, in August, and I could talk to everyone, even stranger in public much better than yesterday.

Even I felt like I talked so good in my presentation for my final paper in uni, because I was training here. Every Saturday. With the kids. With the volunteer. With you guys all.

yes. I was so active and I was so happy (still now) to learn about them and I even sacrificed my Saturday morning which I usually lie on my bed until noon to meet and get to know them more. And there was time when I felt that I am so burn out because I don’t think I have the stock of love I could give to them because I was really low back then. Through ups and downs, sometimes I felt like it’s okay if I felt burn out in Monday until Friday because in Saturday, I could meet them and I got myself a me time in Sunday. By that, I got to learn that no matter how tired you are, if you are doing something that you really love, the tired would be not that hurt.

After doing volunteer for a year, and now I am in their core team now, I feel like for an introvert, I may still find it hard and not every time I can do better in anything, but I overcame it by,

“even though you did it wrong, you already did good”

Processed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 preset

May kindness and successful will always accompanying us to wherever we may go.

I am so thankful, and grateful to meet everyone through this foundation. Thank you for being such a good manufacture that helped not only just the unprivileged kids, but to those who volunteer too. I hope the foundation would always be the inspiration for everyone everywhere. The world today may be cruel to live in, but there will be always good people to push hard to be better in whatever they do. 

And the kids. I hope that you guys get to live in the world you want as if your imaginations told you about the world. It might get ugly sometimes, but I hope it won’t effect to you because I know, you guys are fearless kids! And I hope my generations would be prepare enough for the world that might be better for you. and I thanked you, for taught me in every Saturday meeting. I don’t think I gave love much more than the love you gave me. 

and please, kids, don’t let your dream fade away.

last one,

Myself. Thank you for growing up well and believing in yourself that even in your lowest point of life, you could still help people, in a way that you can.

click this link for the curiousity :

IndoRelawan : indorelawan.org

Inspiration Factory Foundation : inspirationfactory.org

Ciao,

mutihhh

 

Advertisements
Standard
Lifestyle

LANY in Jakarta – Post Concert Blog

As a fangirl, there were lot of things that you could do to support your idol.

And coming to their concert was one of them.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

LANY – 2019

Going to concert that you love somehow makes you feel like you have crossed one of your bucket list. And some research said that going to concert somehow making your mental feel better. Well. I kind of dig in, and it was true. I always felt happy after the concert.

So, I’ve been going to concert for a while. But it was the first time this year. It was LANY.

To what I count, LANY has been three times went to Jakarta for concert. But this time was their first stadium concert. Yes, the venue was Tennis Indoor Jakarta. The concert held for two days, August 13 and August 14. I only bought for the first date because the next day I need to go to my uni finishing some files.

Here we are, August 13. I am so fully excited. It was almost 3pm when I arrived at the venue. There were a lot of people. Preparing to be happy for a day. but suddenly. the hope went fall down.

It was 5pm and it supposed to be the open entrance to the venue. But I got answered from the crew like, “no, it delayed at 7pm. Please be patient” well I was a crew to an event so I might probably understand why. But it didn’t felt right. The promotor should be professional handling everything. I ate a sausage grill with an ice tea with my sister while we wait. Then the 5.45pm it got crowded at the entrance. The queue line didn’t have any barricade so it felt like you’re stuck. No barricade. Can you even, imagine? We waited at that queue line for almost 1 hour long then it hit 7 pm.

And nothing happened at 7pm. The crew only said that they need to perfecting everything. Whatsoever then it turned out 8.30 pm and the promotor said due to health and safety,

The concert will be reschedule at August 14 6.00 pm. For the next show it will be held at 10.00 pm

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

Can you, imagine? Everyone was shocked and so angry. I happened to be there almost at 9.30 pm because I need to make sure that it was really reschedule. And yes, it was reschedule. And for those who can’t attend the next days, the promotor will provided the refund system but it seems like…. I don’t know, I just felt bad.

 

Next day. August 14. I happened to go to uni first for some file with my friends and around 3pm I went there with my sister again. Then yes, the open gate around 5pm but we didn’t get to enter the entrance venue because it’s almost 6 pm. Everyone got mad because it still delays, even though there were a lot of barricades there and a lot of police and the safety officer.

Well, the concert starts around 6-6.30 pm,

I had fun. But it seems weird.

The concert went without the svmmerdose, the support act.

I thought, maybe they didn’t have any time so that the rundown could be full packed, and I hope they get the chance to play at the second shows.

Well, they performed. But only rinrin (one of the member), not the full set.

Can you even, ughhhhh I felt bad. Then the next days my friend told me about Iqbaal speak up about what happened. And yes. I felt more bad.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 preset

See you soon, LANY.

I can only say, it’s okay to idolize your idol. But don’t take it too far that you’re almost romanticizing it. Your idol is a human, too. And like human, they make mistakes. And someone human didn’t like to show their mistakes, especially to people that loved them. and I think it’s okay. we are growing up together to be better.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 presetProcessed with VSCO with dog3 preset

I hope that every promotor could take this drama as a lesson so that we could do way much better at future.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

This photo taken after the concert. the night was beautiful.

and I’ve been thinking to working out such as run at this place.

 

for more reference :

https://hai.grid.id/read/071817635/konser-lany-di-jakarta-resmi-dibatalkan-penonton-teriak-refund-refund

https://tirto.id/konser-lany-di-jakarta-diundur-karena-alasan-keamanan-eggC

https://www.liputan6.com/showbiz/read/4038579/iqbaal-ramadan-curhat-tentang-konser-lany-di-jakarta

Ciao,

mutihhh

Standard
thoughts

It’s The Will, Not The Skill.

I’m writing this at exactly 3.47 am in the morning with a cold and I’m having a bad cough that makes my chest hurt so that I can not sleep. Then suddenly my mind was like, a crowded intersection at 9 am. there’s a lot of things going on. And now, let me bring you one of this tea.

Do you ever think that, how could a one person be that successful? or do you ever think that, how could that person have so much money, power, networking, etc? how could a one person have so much bravery in self?

I used to think about the questions. And it really makes me feel like, whoa what goes through that mind of a successful person? a bravery one? the ones who have so much money, power, networking, etc? it really making me feel excited to think that what kind of perspective, method, even personality that could build such a person to be like that.

By the time I was curious about what makes them, themselves. it got me chills. let’s discuss a little bit far with a little bit study case.

case 1 : Person A and Person B are not a native English Speaker. English is their second language.

Person A and B had a terrible speaking when it comes to English. But, somehow Person A is halfway better than B because of the environment. By environment meaning she/he once got an English tutor, could write a lot of English writings, could understand what native speaks, whatsoever. So whenever it comes to English, and especially speaking, A has this self-affirmations that she/he will be way more better than B. whenever B did an effort on English, A did not mocking any of it but A always knew that she/he will be one step forward than B.

On the other hand, B was a really shy person. more like, an introverted ones. she/he had the methods that learning is something that should be done fun. B knew that her/his skills about English and also Speaking was really bad. SO how could B possibly do to make it better? learning bit by bit. And constantly progressing. B is a shy person but she/he would volunteering to take any advice from others in order to upgrading her/his English speaking skills. And also didn’t take English and Speaking as something that should be a stiff learning or a burden, even.

But later than day, B was way more, how could I say, B could speak more fluently, rather than A. why is that happened? A was having a lot of source. so is B. I am telling you that B was way more flow and fluent in speaking because she/he has the will to learn it. Even know I know I am aware that I am a judge-mental person, I am not judging that A didn’t have that. But we can tell right under our nose that B was way more putting hearts on what is she/he doing. And while A having a self-affirmations that she/he is way more better than B, B herself/himself was doing nothing but constantly progressing on her/his English speaking skills. I am not saying that having sources, and self-affirmations like this are bad, But I hope you got my points here.

what could possibly happened to this two persons? they got, skills at the end, right? And by learning this two different person, we could learn a lot from it, right?

Learning this two different person got me chills, because I found myself in those two. There will be times when I feel like I am way more better than other person and There will be times when I feel like I need to work my ass off on what I am working right now. I mean it’s normal to think that Okay, I might be a better person than this person. It is normal because you are aware that you have already developed yourself, you knew something changes for the better, right? but just because we feel like we changed a bit, doesn’t mean that we can also be a big headed person. And be a big-headed person somehow kills our personality, bit by bit, I guess. Why is that? When we think that we actually way more better than someone, there is a slightly one percent that we don’t want to learn, again. Because we thought we have done well. Then the actions of not really listening to other people will follows.

Or maybe we don’t even really learn about how to take things just right? not too much, not too little. just right.

I might say, we all know that everyone in the world at least have one skills that no one could have, right? and sometimes people romanticize skills and making other people thinking that this skills is not for everyone because this skills was sold to this person. Meanwhile we could find all the skills we wanted to if we have the will to look deeper at ourselves. Because I believe that the answers is not the outside, it’s the within.

By learning about A and B I can say that willing to do something and having skills are two different kinds of aspects. It’s no use if you have skill but you have got no will to do it.  and I guess I can say, If you have your will, the skills would follows later. Skills and potentials is something that we constantly do, like a routine. But how could we do such thing that making us wanted to do it, constantly?

it’s the will. not the skill.

-mutihhh

and now, it’s 4.47 am.

 

Standard
Uncategorized

April-May Retrospect : I’ve Been Through A Lot

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

But, If I ever gave up on myself back then, I’d be disappointed to myself for not doing it.

I feel like, it’s been a while blogging, so I might try to write a life update blog for around two months ago. But actually, the last time I wrote and actually posted it was around May 20, 2019. But, it’s okay. let’s update!.

April 2019 : A Hectic ones. A really Hectic ones. and DRamatic.

April was a hectic month for me. why? you asked me why?

April was kind of.. hectic because it was the month i am preparing for the my last final paper in uni. and also the 1 round presentation (lol i actually really said this). the final paper has not been finished until now because the last round of presentation about this paper was probably around July-August this year.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

Preparing (for the paper) it was really a hard work ones. Because I need to meet a lot with my Advisor for this paper. since the 1 round presentation was actually at the beginning of May, Since March, I feel like I have been a meeting with her around 7-8 times. Yes, I know that’s a lot. And I have been writing, revising, reading, doing so much stuffs until I feel like I put a side my creativity-ness. But I actually write about..4 writings this month! wow!

It’s Okay To Not Like Everything

Deep Conversations : Why we need it to drives us to be a better person (my favorite ones!)

We should expand our perspectives, everyone! (My First Time Actually Wrote about my friend’s experience abroad)

Frida Kahlo : A Lessons Of Life

 

  • I Did writings, readings, revising, a lot. like, a lot.
  • cafes.
  • meeting and talking about my blog for the writings for my friend
  • cafes.
  • writings, readings, revising,
  • study. study. study.
  • cafe. cafes. cafes.

 

May 2019 : A Laid Back ones.

Well, it’s not laid back for the first week of may. it’s a presentation day!. All i could tell about that day was I WAS SO FREAKING NERVOUS. but THANK GOD IT REALLY WENT WELL. IT EVEN BEYOND MY IMAGINATION. I FEEL LIKE GOD WAS THERE WITH ME AT THE ROOM. I FEEL HAPPY. I LOV GOD.

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

And. I feel like it’s not really good but it’s actually fine if I only posted about two writings into this blog because well, my creativity went away a little bit. but it was the month that I have been almost neglected about my paper because of the ramadhan and the holiday stuffs. At the first two weeks I have been writings, readings, and revising after the presentation but not that really intense like April.

A Girl and Her Potentials

How To Avoid Mass Fangirl Consumption (this basically the writings I didn’t like because it was not detail enough but “the may- me” was feeling like, “you need to talk about this and you need to posted it right away”)

May would probably a sweet month because it is ramadhan and I HAVE BEEN HANGING AROUND WITH A LOT OF MY INNER CIRCLE JUST A MONTH. can you believe it? you actually meeting a lot of your inner circle friends like, you meet them all with different times but actually at the same month? wow.

  • IT’S PRESENTATION DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
  • I AM NERVOUS OH MYGODDDDD
  • IT WENT WELL BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS WHAT IS THIS SORCERY
  • OH WAIT, GOD WAS THERE WITH ME ENTIRE TIME IN THAT ROOM
  • I LOV GOD
  • IT’S RAMADHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
  • HANGING AROUND WITH MIDSCHOOL FREN
  • HANGING AROUND WITH HIGHSCHOOL FREN
  • HANGING AROUND WITH FANGIRL MUTUAL FREN
  • I HAVE A GOOD TIME AFTER ALL

 

ciao!

mutihhh

Standard
Uncategorized

How to avoid mass fangirl consumption  

It seems like my creativity went into a slump this April through may because I was so caught up about my last big paper and I am so afraid that it was not good enough and I don’t want it to be only good and at the beginning of may (exactly at may 3) I was doing my pre-presentation for my last big paper and even though I am not studying a lot and I feel like I am a little bit laid back (I did study a lot these last two months especially about my paper BUT I bet it was never really good enough) and the result was really good at the end. Maybe I just need a little bit of self-reflection about the perfection-imperfection…..

But I don’t want to talk about that because it was so…. so…mmmmm what I want to talk about this was, fangirl and its consumption-ness.

We all know that Justin Bieber debuted in 2009, and at that time, everyone would sing, and talk about him. And even though I don’t really like him as much as that time, I felt like he was one of the biggest contribution of me being learned English especially in talking….singing…. and whatsoever. At that time too, my friend would caught up in K-pop as well. probably at Super Junior, or SNSD in early years, but I felt like I need to fix my English first before I learned any other language, both writings and speaking.

And to think about having someone that really makes you improved in languages, especially if that someone is in the art industry, and you are so amazed of him and even you called yourself as a fan, we all know about this word-this nickname,

Fangirl.

I don’t want to talk about what is a fangirl because I bet a lot of you knew about this, right? And it seems like I have been living as a fangirl for almost 10 years now, there were a little bit different from me being a fangirl at 2009 and 2019 as now. probably such as at that time, I can’t even afford albums and merchandises, whether it’s from the original store or secondhand. And to think about that, I felt like I have almost been a consumptive fangirl when I am fangirling about k-pop and stuff.

As we all know, k-pop has been an interesting topic. And to think about the whole comeback schedule like, music shows, fansign, and other. Especially fansign, I have heard that when you are coming to fansign, you must have bough a lot of albums. And by that, you can have the… artist’s sign, got talked to them, etc. but,

To think that we can talked to them by buying a lot of their albums first,

and after the fansign is done,

where are the albums go? Gone? Or maybe, there will be another giveaway held by the fans that already did the fansign?

It doesn’t feel right to me.

So, I think about what might could have been to avoid the whole fangirl over-consumption

Establish your priorities

I know, this is really reality talk. It’s okay to not buy a lot because you have a lot of errands to buy. Or paying for some rent, etc. the artist would understand that. We all know that we can’t do anything without money and just basically survive. You can saving a little bit for buying some merchandises, or albums, and other. But to buy a lot of that just because you really wanted to meet them, even though it’s your money, it doesn’t feel right. Because when you already bought that, the goods, the albums, are not sustainable products. If you buy a lot then you don’t know where to dumped them, they all would go to the landfill, anyway.  And to think that your favorite idol poster, or albums lies in the landfill it’s not really a good to imagine, right?

Stream online

Please, just stream online. This is just an electronic-digital era, guys.

Buy only one, and the original one

Your artist would understand if you can’t afford to buy a lot of merchandise whilst the stuffs that the only income they had after all. But I guess it’s okay because you are not the only fan of them, right? And for me, I think it’s okay to buy a secondhand-original one. It’s probably much cheaper and it’s still original, right?

Attend concert

Do I really need to explain this? Go to your artist’s concert! You’ll get happier and your mental would be at best state after it!

 

Ciao!

mutihhh

 

Standard
Friends, Uncategorized

A Girl and Her Potentials

Processed with VSCO with dog3 preset

As a first encounter, you must have left an impression to someone, vice versa. When you’re getting to know someone, there would be a lot of actions, right? Maybe talking about something and that’s hopefully a thing you guys have in common. By that, the talking-the conversation would be smooth as well. but what if it isn’t? is there some kind of another approach? Of course there will be. But what is it? I don’t know, it could be life, or work, or something that interest you, news, or probably you might just throw any words and I bet there will be a good conversation follows. Because, People left an impression, even if it’s at the first time, or even when the unpredictable ones.

At that one morning I practically did my volunteer at usual place, meeting friends, the kids, the usual stuffs. And we kinda have this habit of lunch together. Basically I often lunch at the Mie Ayam dan Bakso stall near the place I volunteer but that day, we kinda tired of eating noodles and meatballs all over again every weekend so we decided-went to the mall and going for the food court meals. At that time (and still) I have not been feeling burden that I can’t eat chicken and chocolate anymore because a) there was a lot of food stalls at the food court which I can choose what food I am going to eat, and b) there was yoshinoya (japanese bento? Oh no, they sell the rice+yakininu beef as their main dish, anyway). So obviously I ate that yakiniku beef (even if I don’t have that much money, but still, food is my number one priority lmao), and my friends choosed their own menus, we talked a lot, and there was this conversation that our other friend, was at the mall too, but not at the food court. And my friend offered to called them by his phone then asked where they were, by seeing their Instagram stories or I might say, snapgram, they probably at the lower ground, the sushi area. Then we went there, based on my theories, lmao.

At that time, I am only left with 4-5 friends? So we met, we talked (again) and it was really fun because this kind type of friend, would really amazed me. Different ages, different backgrounds, different occupations, whatsoever, but we are sitting in one table talking about everything. But basically we talked about the volunteer stuffs. Around almost 1 hour, but we decided to part ways and it’s because it’s time for home. And I am left with these two friends of mine. We decided to split our go car fare because our destination before home was, the KRL station.

I was sitting at the back seat with this friend. My other friend was sit at the front beside the driver. We kinda talked a bit (oh my god, why am I talked a lot) with the driver. Since the road somehow a bit long and it took almost 30 minutes to the station, my friend and I started to talk a bit tense about the volunteering stuffs and what was amazed me that she somehow feel proud of me being out of my comfort zone because she knew herself that she pulled me out.

“don’t you know that she (me) was so freaking shy at first joined?”

“seriously?”

“yea, look at her now, whoa”

And then suddenly we kinda talk about how I am faced this stuffs, me out of my box. I told them that I am somehow feel happy that I challenged myself for something that I would likely not to do because it requires a lot of people and too much public for me. I feel happy but I feel that this activity somehow wore me out a lot. But I don’t know why I stayed at this community for almost 6 months and I am changing a lot.

“I know that you have the potentials. Look at you now”

And suddenly I wanna thanked her at that time but I am just starstruck I am so freezed by her words because her words, and especially her actions, amazed me.

Not because her backgrounds, but the way she saw the potentials in me, I think that everyone can see each other’s potentials, though. And I know, somehow we can not see our potentials, what can I do for people, or even help others, and it’s just takes one friend that really knows that you have the potentials and show to you and let themselves helping you get through it. And I guess that we can do that too to other people as helping others for the better and the outcome would be better for you too, right?

 

ciao,

mutihhh

Standard
people

Frida Kahlo : A Lessons Of Life

edcbdae1-c529-4ff4-8729-c8023700e38c (1)

If you ever watched movie named Coco, you must have known this person. I called her, The Great Frida Kahlo. Why would I called her that? Because even though she passed away before I was born, by her painting, her stories I read, her words that everyone quoted, I feel like I learned a lot from her like she was my teacher. And I feel that I learned a lot especially on life lesson terms. So here’s my main points that I have learned from The Great Frida Kahlo.

Be Passionate.

Many people don’t believe passion because not many people could have that kind of life. but by knowing her, Frida told us that whatever life path that we choose, be passionate about it. Whether it’s only a 9-5 job, or arts, or some stem field, be passionate. She delivered this by her fond of paint. She loved painting.

da52c3d3-7c38-41a6-a0dc-134e5ad88a8e

“I was born a bitch. I was born a painter.” – Frida Kahlo

I bet she had it from her father’s influence, but bit by bit, she found that she has a passion in painting. And after realizing it, she became fuel herself and mastering about the painting. According to the internet, she had been paint approximately about 200 paintings. And the 55 of them was her self-portraits.

Know How To Words

As we may know, Kahlo was a self-taught painter, but somehow the way she choose words to say, amazed me in a way. If you take a look, there will be a lot of Kahlo’s quotes. About life and its colorfulness. I love the way she knows how to words that making me feel like she is such a wise person. Even in her youths, she knew that she had talent. In art. In words. And she didn’t took it for granted.

05e35654-839b-480b-99e8-d2000b9ffb2e

So many words of her that amazed me, but this one gave me goosebumps.

“I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.”  – Frida Kahlo

I feel like she wanted to tell us that the best and the worst person we should get to know more was, our own selves. Because, sometimes getting to know self are so much harder than to know anyone else. I bet she often to have a time to talk with herself so that she is so good at delivered thoughts and feelings. And for that, I am so jealous of her. Not that jealous because I wanted to be like her, but I am so jealous that she is so brave to often to talk to herself so that she could be her whole self.

Even though she often delivered her thoughts and feelings through her paintings, and here I am not really don’t know about the painting world, especially in her era, but her words touched me much.

Pain Into Opportunity

Kahlo had nothing but to live a life that filled with pain. At the age of 6, she had polio on her right leg which took her a year to recover. Then in her youth, she was involved in a school bus accident. By that, her lower torso leaving her with a fractured pelvis and collarbone, two broken ribs, a broken leg and a crushed foot. Even her spinal column was also broken in three places. Kahlo had almost 30 operations because of the accident. She survived, however with the full-body cast. Then Kahlo also had several miscarriages and had her right leg amputated later on life.

8bb1a7fa-1f0a-4157-9d4a-13166d1de403

“Pain, pleasure, and death are no more than a process for existence. The revolutionary struggle in this process is a doorway open to intelligence”
– Frida Kahlo

After all, even with the journey of life that filled with pain, she still survived and lived. The pain she met in every second of her life, she took it, she felt it, then she drew it, and became a successful painter, then she bloomed beautiful. It’s not that she wanted the world to know how hurt she must have been, but I guess she just wanted world to know that reality is slammed her hard, but somehow she slammed it back harder.

Transparent and Self-Acceptance

The one of the reasons I am so obsessed with this woman was transparent. By reading her biography, learn to know her painting, even watched a movie about her, the way she transparent was making me in awe. She knew how to express her feelings. She knew how to delivered her thoughts to everyone, and mostly to herself. Many people (probably) in old generations can’t express thoughts freely because of the regulations whatsoever, but regardless of what conditions to her era, she did that. I know nothing about her political views but she is so vocal and honest and transparent to everyone and herself. I guess She is the kind that always said everything in her thoughts. She is a badass woman.

6a53ffed-7cc1-40a2-bf71-2c9607346413

“I think that little by little I’ll be able to solve my problems and survive”
– Frida Kahlo

She is the iconic of Mexico beauty, I believed. But as we may know, Frida’s style somehow a bit different. Her hair, her thick brows, her long skirts. She told us to express ourselves as we want without thinking what others could see us. She was an unbothered woman I have ever known. She barely don’t give a fuck about everyone who criticized her. I feel like she wanted to show me that no matter what people says about us, it’s just never goes away. She knew she was different, and she was accepted it, positively. I don’t think that she whined about things that people might told her, she probably did, but I bet she mastered her mind control so that no one could affected her.

Always loving, never leaving. But know when to quit.

Kahlo’s relationship with her husband was kind of controversial. Her mom didn’t allowed it at first but still let her to married that man. And as we may know, her husband, Diego Rivera, was the kind of man that (uh I don’t know how to words) had some issues on commitment, I might say. Before marrying Kahlo, he already had two marriage, and yes of course he was a widower. He was Kahlo’s senior. He was a muralist. But even though he’s never owned by everyone but himself, somehow she survived a commitment with Kahlo (lol). Well, a widower, a man to himself, a famous muralist in his era, why though? But if I may to analyze, I still don’t know why she choose him over anyone else to be her husband but I bet she loved him because he was him. Because Diego stays true to himself. He knew that he loved a lot of woman and his self-acceptance was amazed Kahlo in ways we couldn’t imagine. I bet Kahlo loved him the way he was. Diego had many affairs in his life, so Kahlo is. Kahlo had her eyes on woman too (according to the movie).

tumblr_oj62uwxmW41qhpqsio1_500

“There have been two great accidents in my life. one was the trolley, and the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst.” – Frida Kahlo.

And somehow later on life, Diego had an affairs with Kahlo’s sister and by that time, Kahlo and Diego divorced. She told us that no matter how good or bad the person we loved, we should know when and how to quit. Don’t slaved yourself just because you loved that person too much. Kahlo knew that she was a clumsy human that always loving and never leaving. Even though Diego did bad, she still loved him. She knew she was. but by the time she knew it, she didn’t gave up on Diego because that was not the time for quitting. She had her guts. And it’s about that damn time.

tumblr_p8nhtbbF3L1vm1ubqo1_500

“I hope the exit is joyful. And I hope never to return.” – Frida Kahlo

You might think that I am so obsessed with this woman, and yes I am. But not that point I wanted myself to be like her. By reading her biography, watching movie about her making me realize that life was just another work in progress. It’s a progress of doing everything you love with passion, your words that your mouth said, the pain you felt that making you to be more realistic and to be human that have feelings as a whole person, and the kind of clumsy human that always loving, but never leaving.

943d7705-499e-436d-abda-4d81633fc0e1

“So many things to tell you and so few come out of my mouth. You should learn to read my eyes when I look at you.” 
-Frida Kahlo

p.s this was my favorite picture of her. she is so cute in this style.

 

8526176e-2af0-43cd-9dfe-255ab090f984

Viva La Vida – Frida Kahlo’s Last Painting. (1954)

She was painted the Viva La Vida exactly a day before she passed away at summer 1954.  The meaning she wanted to tell about this painting was, we all should celebrate the life, despite its happiness and sorrows.

All of the pictures credits to : artist-frida.tumblr.com

Ciao

mutihhh

Standard